Happy New Year Wishes and Greetings – Funny New Year

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Funny wishes for new year

New Year’s Day is observed on January 1, the first day of the year. It is celebrated on different days in many religions and countries.
My New Year’s resolution is to eat less so that I can be sexier. But whenever I see your fat body, I guess I am already successful with my resolution so I won’t do it anymore. Happy New Year to you!
This New Year, may you be Saved by many friends who Enter your life to Delete all your Errors.
I would say happy New Year but it’s not happy; it’s exactly the same as last year except colder.
It’s a new year, but with the same old problems. Oh, well, at least we’re alive. For now.
Making resolutions is a cleansing ritual of self-assessment and repentance that demands personal honesty and, ultimately, reinforces humility. Breaking them is part of the cycle.
New Year gives you the option all over to again to view the glass in either perspective – half full or half empty.
I sincerely wish you make fewer resolutions to give up drinking this year!
I made no resolutions for the New Year. The habit of making plans, of criticizing, sanctioning and molding my life, is too much of a daily event for me.
I wish Snoopy, your poodle, does not chew telephone chords or your favorite skirt this year. Happy New Year!
As you turn a new leaf in your Book of Life with the advent of New Year, here is wishing you the addition of meaningful chapters. Happy New Year!

Funny wishes for new year
This Year may you end up fighting less with your partner over TV remote.
In 20.., let’s live dangerously! I’ll get some scissors, and we can run with them!
Kick everyone’s ass this year except mine. Have a kickass new year.
My new year resolution? Buy more shoes, drink more wine, and don’t worry about the gym. I can do this.
Have you ever wondered how Father Time becomes a little baby each year? At midnight, let’s watch to find out what he’s drinking.
New Year’s Day now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.
The object of a new year is not that we should have a new year. It is that we should have a new soul.
This year, may your dough flow and your skin glow! Happy New Year with love and laughter!
I would say happy New Year but it’s not happy; it’s exactly the same as last year except colder.
Will you kiss me at midnight?
I sincerely wish you overcome your fear of cockroaches this new year.
May you spend lesser time online this New Year and more with the real people who fill up your real world.
I hope you saved some champagne because I’m going to need some drinks all year. Happy New Year friend.
I wish you find a perfume this year that is less awe-inspiring than chocolate flavored EDT!
It’s New Year’s Eve! Time for fireworks and treats Just be careful though, Be safe or you’ll lose a finger or two. Have a wonderful new year!

Funny wishes for new year
This Year may your hair and teeth, your face-lift, abs and stocks not fall, may your blood pressure, your cholesterol, white blood count and mortgage interest not rise. Happy New Year!
As the clock strikes twelve, may you have the stamina to wish all of your innumerous Facebook Friends a Happy New Year.
A year of sorrow, disappears into thin air, if you shower it with a bottle of champagne! save a glass or two for me
Don’t set your expectations, resolutions and wishes too high for this year. Did it make a difference last time?
This New Year, may you make the attempt to trim and clean your Social Media accounts.
No resolution for the New Year, as I like my love in the state it is- criticizing and annoying you will go on the high range!
They say pain and tears help one to be stronger, So I am wishing you more tears and pain. For you to become even stronger than last year. Happy New Year!
My New Year’s resolution is to dream more. I guess that means I’ll need to sleep a lot.
I Would Say Happy New Year But It’S Not Happy; It’S Exactly The Same As Last Year Except Colder.{Robert Clark
Wish New Year was every man’s birthday when people can wipe out all the unwanted and start afresh.
Kiss me at midnight. Or whenever you want to, actually.

Funny wishes for new year
I wish you end up without a funny face in group photos this year.
May your New Year show you the shapeliest reflection in the mirror – so jog to the gym every day!
I hope you start the New Year as the startup of your old habits. Have the same old beautiful life in a box of New Year!
The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year’s Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you’re married to.
May the New Year be like a trip inside Santa’s gift bag that is well stocked with all that you have been eyeing since Black Friday sale.
This year my New Year’s resolution was to stop saying ‘Seacrest out!’ after I ejaculate.
In the New Year, let’s run around together. Literally. We need to lose weight.
20.. is toast, and 20.. is the best thing since sliced bread.
This New Year, remember to chuck all the old jokes and same stories to narrate at parties!
Here’s hoping you can say whoa to the woe this year.
New Year’s is a harmless annual institution, of no particular use to anybody save as a scapegoat for promiscuous drunks, and friendly calls and humbug resolutions.
I wish the god spares you from telemarketing calls when trying to finish work in Friday evenings!
I envy the mosquitoes since they can spend the midnight hour with you and kiss you as the clock strikes New Year.

Funny wishes for new year
I’m gonna order a pizza five minutes before the new year and when they arrive I will say I ordered this a year ago, lol.
My new year’s resolution for 20–? I will be less lazy.
May All Your Troubles Last As Long As Your New Year’S Resolutions.
May this New Year bring actual change in you – not the recurrence of old habits in a new package.
It’s the thing that satisfies your mind, body & soul! Do it on the bed, on a sofa, in the car or anywhere! It’s called Prayer! God bless your naughty mind. Happy new year!
I pray sincerely no sequel is released in your favorite vampire romance this year!
I wish there is less snowfall or queue when you wait for Black Friday Deals this year.
I wish you finally learn how to use your Smartphone properly this New Year.
This year, I resolve to make no mistakes. LOL!
Instead of saying, Happy New Year, couldn’t we just break it into months? You know, like, Happy February! I function better with smaller tasks.
20..–time to grab the bull by the horns and show it who’s boss.
Tom Cruise Angelina Jolie Aishwarya Rai Salman Khan Jennifer Lopez Amitabh Bachchan & Me. All The Stars Wish U A Very Happy New Year.

Funny wishes for new year
Here’s to a mediocre New Year! Hey, being honest is one of my resolutions. May 20.. bring us fun and laughter!
New Year’s Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time.
I wish the Hollywood actor you drool over does not get hooked by some starlet this year!
I will try to be more understanding, less critical, more thoughtful and less annoying this year. Enjoy the brand new year!
I’m sorry, a special sorry for you! Plz Excuse my all mistakes at the beginning of the new year & Get Ready in New Year for New Mistakes! Bcoz I can’t change myself, Happy New Year!
Wishing you successful 12 months, Joyful 52 weeks, lovely 365 days, memorable 8760 hours, blessings of 525600 minutes and happiest 31536000 seconds. Happy New Year!
Let’s sparkle in the New Year. Or maybe sweat just a little.
Jewish New Year – Rosh Hashanah is celebrated from first day of Tishrei to second day of Tishrei
My grandparents had resolutions like donating more time & money to charities. I’ve decided to make my own coffee once a week.

Funny wishes for new year
I pledge that I shall not spend my New Year’s Day glues to my computers in my pajamas – I plan to dress up for my computer!
They say the New Year is a blank book, but I have writer’s block.
The New Year is going to be sweet like a big bite of your favorite ice cream! Just don’t let it give you a brain freeze!
This year, I resolve to remember why I came into the room.

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