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Who needs firecrackers to celebrate New Year’s Eve? I’ll be your personal ball of fire, and I promise you won’t get burned! Tomorrow is the first blank page of a 365 page book. Write a good one. May God inspire you to finally enroll in that anger management course in New Year! May you become a billionaire this year, as I have dreamt that you are going to gift me a bungalow! Have a prosperous New Year! The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year’s Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you’re married to. I wish you do not rush to kitchen in middle of a call to realize the cake is burnt this year! I Wish You Can Maintain Your Resolution To Quit Smoking A Few Days More This New Year. Happy New Year! I wish you scare off everyone in your wonderful Halloween attire in the New Year! I can’t believe it’s been a year since I didn’t become a better person. It’s 20.. already? I need a few more weeks. A new year is like a blank book. The pen is in your hands. It is your chance to write a beautiful story for yourself. May this New Year bring actual change in you – not recurrence of old habits in a new package. If the New Year gives you a swift kick in the pants, just use the momentum to keep moving forward. Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now average… which means you have met your New Year’s resolution. I wish you can maintain your resolution to quit smoking a few days more this new year!
Funny Happy New Year Wishes This Year I wish you scare off everyone in your wonderful Halloween attire My New Year’s resolution is to actually use up all the lotion, Chapstick, hand sanitizer, and other crap that hangs out in the bottom of my purse. You have this year in the palm of your hand. Don’t squeeze the life out of it. May all your troubles last as long as your New Year’s resolutions. Dream small, and you can achieve it all. It’s the only wish that may come true for the New Year! To my friends, I wish peace, love and health. Blah, Blah… screw that. I wish you lot’s of sex, booze, orgasms and hope you win the lotto. Happy new year! I promise not to drink beer anymore, But since it’s not yet the eve, can I have a bottle more? Happy New Year, dear! This New Year I’m on a look out for a bank that would give me a big loan and then forget me forever. I wish your dog becomes intelligent to wash muddy legs before running on carpets this year. I will no longer wish you more success. You’ve had so much already. It should be mine this year! Happy new year to me! In 20.., let’s resolve to lose the weight and lose the wait! May this New Year be so prosperous that you always extend your hand to greet friends and never to ask for aid. Hope you are blessed with intelligence to differentiate between ending of one year and the beginning of the next.
Funny Happy New Year Wishes Happy New Year! Let’s pop the cork and start breaking the rules! I hope the New Year is fruitful and appealing. Like bananas. I love bananas. Though I am wishing a very happy New Year, but remember you still have the same old husband! This New Year may you come up with innovative passwords to puzzle people to fish out the real one! This Year I wish your neighbor does not ask you to babysit his tantrum-throwing daughter in weekends. Happy New Year! The coming New Year is no joke. It just feels funny. Youth is when you’re allowed to stay up late on New Year’s Eve. Middle age is when you’re forced to. May all your troubles last as long as your New Year’s resolutions. Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account. Best wishes and good luck this New Year because I intend on completely ignoring your existence for roughly the next 364 days. I saved you from spending a fortune on a New Year’s party – I sent you an invitation for an online party! This New Year may you come up with innovative excuses for your teacher or boss when you plan to bunk your class or office. I wish your dog becomes intelligent to wash muddy legs before running on carpets this year. Happy New Year! I wish you finally implement the plan to use stairs instead of elevators at malls and markets! It’s a new year. Let’s get it right so we won’t be left.
Funny Happy New Year Wishes After making careful judgment, a brand New Year contract has been drafted for you – make sure to take full responsibility before you leap in. May this New Year bring you more problems, more tears, and more pains. Don’t get me wrong. I just want you to be a stronger person. May the New Year bring you significantly more joy than the holidays did. Remember when we were young and wanted to stay up for New Year’s? Now we are old and all we want to do is sleep. I wish you can maintain your resolution to quit smoking a few days more this new year. Happy New Year! This Year I wish your neighbor does not ask you to babysit his tantrum-throwing daughter on weekends. Happy New Year! This Year I Wish There Is Less Snowfall When You Wait For Black Friday Deals😊 ❤️ 😋 Wishing you a new year filled with all your favorite things: sequins, sarcasm, and shenanigans. 20.. is in the rear view mirror, and 20.. is a big, open highway. Roll on, Baby, and watch for squirrels! Sweet dreams to 20..! May 20.. wake you up like a pot of strong coffee! Happy New Year with laughter and happiness! May you have the grace and wisdom to act kindly, learning to distinguish between what is personal and what is not. May you have good friends to mirror your blind spots.
Funny Happy New Year Wishes New Year? They say, Keep calm and carry on, but I prefer to panic and stop dead in my tracks. May the New Year bring you courage to break your resolutions early! My own plan is to swear off every kind of virtue, so that I triumph even when I fall! I wish you can resist temptation to gorge on burgers during snack breaks. Happy New Year! I wish your efforts at trimming your goatee at home turn out better this year. Happy New Year! If you are planning to turn a new leaf over this New Year, make sure the leaf is free of bugs. May New Year makes you realize to stop being a black sheep of this family and start to be a dove that brings peace. Have a blessed new year! All I wish this new eve comes with a lot of joys for you since you look ugly while crying. Happy New Year! May you abandon fear, addictions and all other kinds of suppression and slavery the coming year. Never tell your resolution beforehand, or it’s twice as onerous a duty. This New Year, may you handle yourself with your brains, but comfort others with your heart. I wish you can resist temptation to gorge on burgers during snack breaks this year. This Year may god inspire you to finally enroll in that anger management course. We all get the exact same 365 days. The only difference is what we do with them. Hope you enjoyed reading the New Year funny messages sms just, add a cute picture with it and it would become a lovely humorous greeting card for New Year.
Funny Happy New Year Wishes May all your weight loss aspirations be fulfilled in the New Year! Happiness is too many things these days for anyone to wish it on anyone lightly. So let’s just wish each other a bile-less New Year and leave it at that. I wish Snoopy, your poodle, does not chew telephone chords or your favorite skirt this year!
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