Funny Merry Christmas Wishes and messages

Funny Merry Christmas wishes. Top Christmas Greetings and Merry Christmas Wishes with Images. They say Christmas is a time for smiles.

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Funny Merry Christmas Wishes

As I child I loved the taste of fresh, white snow. After trying some yellow snow first, I found the white snow to be much, much better.
Can I please have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?
Christmas is the only time of year when I buy nuts, and it’s the only time of year I feel like I may go nuts. May you keep your sanity this holiday season!
Do you know why this Christmas card is so wonderful? Because it isn’t an email and it isn’t a text.
Merry Christmas! May you not lose any packages in the mail this holiday season.
Happy Holidays! May the magic of Christmas still be with you when you open your next credit card bill.
Happy Holidays! May you be able to participate in the activities of the Christmas season rather than the flu season!
Happy holidays! May your egg nog contain enough rum to get you through the Christmas season!
I am permanently on the naughty list, and damn proud of it too!
Sometimes I feel like I should leave my Christmas decorations up all year; it seems that by the time I take them down, it’s time to put them back up again!
I loved this Christmas message and I feel you will also love it because thankfully it’s not an email it’s a text!! Merry Christmas!!
I took my daughter to go see Santa at the mall, and guess what that jerk did? He called her a ‘ho’ three times!

Funny Merry Christmas Wishes
I wonder how Santa celebrates Christmas day. After the late-night shift he pulls, I bet he stays in bed all day and does nothing. Sounds nice.
I’ve never decked the halls and I have no idea what Jingle Bell rock is. But I hope your Christmas rocks!
Guess why I am so happy for Christmas? Because this is the only time of the year when the great secret gets revealed and I get to meet the person finally, have been interacting through emails!!
It’s the most wonderful season indeed – until everything has to be cleaned up, and the credit card bill arrives.
It’s time to be thankful to the Jesus in some extra quantity because he has given some extra days off from work!! Merry Christmas!!
May you have plenty of mistletoe on hand this Christmas… and lots of good kisses too!
Merry Christmas! May Santa fill your stocking with winning lottery tickets! Hope you holiday season is a winner!
I love the holidays. But sometimes I could use a little less “Jingle Bells” and a little more “Silent Night”.
Merry X-mas! May you be surrounded by jolly elves – and not nasty grinches- this holiday season!
My Christmas wish for you this year is simple: with all you are going to consume over the holidays, I hope your digestive system can handle it like a champ.
Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.
Funny Merry Christmas Wishes
Santa can definitely do some pretty amazing things. But I really wish he could make “late fees” disappear off of bills. Merry Christmas!
It must be hard living in the North Pole like Santa Claus. I can’t imagine living in a place where there’s no pizza delivery! Hope your X-mas delivers some happiness!
The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn’t for any religious reasons. They couldn’t find three wise men and a virgin.
This holiday season I think I will donate my bathroom scale. that way I won’t be weighed down with guilt going into the new year!
This time of year so many get concerned about eating too many calories. Therefore, I will gladly take any unwanted Christmas cookies.
Does anyone else think it is strange that we allow an old, fat man to sneak into our house in the middle of the night, eat cookies and drink milk and then fill our socks with his junk?
Merry Christmas! May you receive presents that make you happy – and not fruit cake and ugly Christmas sweaters.
Thanks to autocorrect, the children who don’t check over their work will be getting a visit from Satan this year.
Can I please a picture of yours?? I want to show it to Santa when he will ask me for my wish!! Merry Christmas from me to you!!
Christmas dinners are the best. While I may not be the greatest at cooking, I am pretty good at eating!
Christmas is the time when everyone wants his past forgotten and his present remembered.”
I like my men like I like my Christmas ornaments: bright, colorful and well hung!
Funny Merry Christmas Wishes
Sorry to inform you but Christmas is cancelled this year. Apparently YOU told Santa you were good this year and he died laughing.
Happy Holidays! May there be plenty of sales and coupons wherever you go to do your Christmas shopping.
Happy holidays! May you have plenty of coffee and caffeinated drinks to get you through the Christmas season!
Happy Holidays! May your electricity remain on and your plumbing work the entire season! (And I hope reading this doesn’t make you all flushed!)
If I were to re-write the “12 Days of Christmas,” I would include things like chocolate, cocktails, and fancy dinners instead of French hens and turtle doves.
Happy Holidays! May all your decorative lights be in working order this season. I hope your Christmas is bright!
I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.” – Shirley Temple
I wish for your holidays to be filled with many big smiles and big celebrations – but hopefully not big credit card bills!
I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wrong paper. See, the paper I used said ‘Happy Birthday’ on it. I didn’t want to waste it so I just wrote ‘Jesus’ on it.
Merry Christmas! May the lines at the stores you shop at be short, and may your patience be long this holiday season!
I love to be listed on the list of the naughty ones because I feel so very proud to be like that!! Merry Christmas!!
It’s the thought that counts and I put a ton of thought into picking out this Christmas card for you!
May the calories of Christmas disappear by the New Year. Happy holidays!
Merry Christmas! I hope Santa brings you presents – and not sickness – this holiday season!
Santa knows Physics: Of all colors, Red Light penetrates fog best. That’s why Benny the Blue-nosed reindeer never got the gig.
It seems that the Christmas season keeps getting earlier each year. If it gets any earlier, Halloween is going to feel offended.
Money is scarce, times are hard, but I still managed to get you a Christmas card.
No matter you like my choice or not but this is the wish from my side!! It’s the thought that matters and I have put in all my thoughts and mind into it!! Merry Christmas!!
One of the best things about Christmas is the office Christmas party. It’s a great opportunity to finally meet face-to-face the people who you’ve been emailing from a few feet away all year.
For some, the best part of Christmas happens…. when it’s all over! Wishing you a stress-free Christmas season!
Funny Merry Christmas Wishes
Merry Christmas! Santa is giving you the gift of a frigid winter – but just for a few more months!
They say the best Christmas gifts come from the heart… but cash and gift cards do wonders too! Happy Holidays!
This is the time of year to be grateful to Jesus because he got you a few extra days off from work.
We wish you a less expensive Christmas. We wish you a less expensive Christmas. We wish you a less expensive Christmas and a debt-free New Year!
I love Christmas, but I am glad it comes just once a year. Otherwise, I’d definitely turn into a major Grinch!
Instead of presents, I wish Santa would lend me an elf for a year. I’m pretty sure I could find enough things for him to fix, build, or clean for an entire year!
Funny Merry Christmas Wishes


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