Girls are funny creatures. They hate it when you ask their age but will kill you if you forget their birthday.
I’ve had a horribly busy day converting oxygen into carbon dioxide. 🙂
My bed is always extra comfortable when I need to get out of it in the morning.
There are 3 types of people in the world- vegetarian, non-vegetarian and Tuesday / Saturday
Always remember you are UNIQUE – Just like everybody else.
HEY, U ARE READING MY STATUS AGAIN??
Love is that state of mind when a karan johar film becomes bearable.
At least mosquito’s are attracted to me.
If money grew on trees, then girls would be dating monkeys..!
I’d like to thank the internet, Google, Wikipedia, Microsoft Word, and Copy & Paste 🙂
Milk does the body good but DAMN how much did you drink?
The only difference between a good day and a bad day is your attitude.
Admit it, you listen to other strangers conversations and mentally give your opinion.
GOOGLE must be a woman because it knows everything.
I’m not lazy. I’m just on energy saving mode.
My Mom Said ” Follow Your Dreams “, So I Went Back To Bed.
When I’m on my death bed, I want my final words to be ‘I left one million dollars in the…’
I won’t be impressed with technology until I can download food.
the best one night stand is masturbation…you get to play with p#%^y and don’t have explain why later…lol
Definition of human being: a creature that cuts trees, makes paper & write “SAVE TREES” on the same paper.
I really need 5 hours of Facebook to balance out my 5 minutes of studying.
Jealousy = I actually care about you.
Sleep till you’re hungry… Eat till you’re sleepy.
You smell like hidden motives, get away from me.
During The Day, I Don’T Believe In Ghosts. Ar Night I’M Little More Open-Minded.
I Will Marry A Girl Who Looks Pretty In Aadhaar Card.
Please God If You Can’T Make Me Slim. Make My Friends Fat.
Excuse me …. Please empty ur pockets …. I think U stole my heart.
Marriage Lets You Annoy One Special Person For The Rest Of Your Life.
It’S Better To Be Absolutely Ridiculous Than Absolutely Boring
Scratch here ###::::## to reveal this status..
Years of education, solving tough problems, handling complex issues, yet we take a while standing before glass doors thinking whether to Push or Pull.
Don’t settle for good. Demand Great!
I wanna be nice but some people are so annoying.
Life is too Short – Chat Fast!
Sometimes you just have to throw on a crown and remind them who they’re dealing with.
Dear Google, Please stop behaving like a GIRL. Will u please allow me to complete the whole sentence before you start guessing & suggesting.
Is there anything more awkward than when you are singing along to a song on youtube and the music stops loading.
Who care’s ?????………..I’m awsome
I am sure I have a defective iPhone, I keep pressing the home button and I’m still at work.
If Stress Burned Calories, I’D Be A Supermodel.
One day, I’m gonna make the onions cry.
When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.
Caution, Blind Man Driving.
I Hate When I Plan Conversation In My Head & Other Person Doesn’T Follow The Damn Script.
I’m so awesome that I wish I could be you, just so I could hang out with me!
Today’s Relationships: You can touch each other but not each others phones.
I love my job only when I’m on vacation…..
Remember how you treated me so when I treat you like that you can understand why!
Nothing is illegal until you get caught 🙂
We are WTF generation …. WhatsApp, Twitter and Facebook 😀
Brain is the best worker,When you can use it…