Me and my wife lived happily for 25 years and then we met…
Single doesn’t always mean available…
Whatsapp status is loading…
At last got to know how to lose weight in 10 days: Just turn your head right then left and repeat whenever offered any food 
FACT: Every piece of plastic ever made still exists. Say no to Plastic.
I wish people looked like their personalities..
It’s cute when your crush’s crush is uuh 😉
People are like music some say the truth and rest, just noise.
Here my dad comes on whatsapp… From now on my status would be ‘***no status***’ or just a smiley…
Relax we’re all crazy it’s not a competition
Silence doesn’t always mean you’re mad… sometimes it just means you have nothing to say.
We are WTF generation…. WhatsApp, Twitter, and Facebook: D
Always remember you are UNIQUE – Just like everybody else.
Dream as if you’ll live forever… Live as if tomorrow is the last one.
I will kill you with my awesomeness…
It’s cute when your crush’s crush is uuh 
One day, I’m gonna make the onions cry.
The only difference between a good day and a bad day is your attitude.
I’m not lazy; I’m on energy saving mode.
This is the beginning of the sentence you just finished reading.
We are all part of the ultimate statistic – ten out of ten dies.
After marriage, the other man’s wife looks more beautiful.
Don’t kiss behind the garden, Love is blind but the neighbors are not.
I wanna be nice but some people are so annoying.
It may look like I’m deep in thought, but 99% of the time I’m just thinking about what food to eat later.
Once a cheater always a repeater…
The best one-night stand is masturbation…you get to play with p#%^y and don’t have explained why later…lol
Dear Lord, there is a bug in your software… it’s called Monday, please fix it.
Life is too short. Don’t waste it removing pen drive safely.
Don’t be too optimistic. The light at the end of the tunnel may be another train.
Act crazy, don’t regret, do things you would never ever do because life is short so live it up! 
Don’t be happy.I don’t Really forgive people,I just pretend like it’s ok and wait for my turn to destroy them.
I shouldn’t have to earn you time or attention, you should want to give it!
I’m so awesome that I wish I could be you, just so I could hang out with me!
Nothing is lost until mom can’t find it.
Teamwork is important; it helps to put the blame on someone else.
You can never buy Love… But still, you have to pay for it…
Happiness is when ‘Last seen at’ changes to ‘Online’ and then to ‘Typing…’
Price is what you pay. Value is what you get.
I am never in a bad mood, its people around me that suck.

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