I’m not lazy, I’m on energy saving mode.
My study period = 15 minutes. My break time = 3 hours.
Sorry about those texts I sent you last night, my phone was drunk.
WoW, now I’m a graduate… Now thermometer is not the only thing that has degrees without brains.
Coins always make the sound but the currency notes are always silent! That’s why I’m always calm and silent…
Life is too short smile while you still have teeth…
Don’t be happy.I don’t Really forgive people,I just pretend like it’s ok and wait for my turn to destroy them.
May I go to the toilet = I’m fucking bored.
Don’t be too optimistic. The light at the end of the tunnel may be another train.
I don’t give up on people easily. But when I do, I don’t even care to see if they are breathing anymore..!!
if your dog barks and enemies laugh take it seriously.
My friend said I was delusional. I nearly fell off my unicorn.
Sometimes i just wish i’ could fast forward the time to see if in the end it’s all worth it.
Why is it so easy to fall asleep in class then in bed.
Cannot trust anyone these days, fake is becoming the new trend…
Hakuna Matata – The great motto to live life!
People who exercise live longer, but what’s the point when those extra years are spent at the gym.
I am crazy and hyper but that is 2 reasons why I am lovable.
Save water – Drink beer!
I and my wife lived happily for 25 years and then we met…
If you are gonna be two-faced, Honey at least make one of them pretty!
My biggest concern in life is actually how my online friends can be informed of my death!
Some people should have multiple Facebook accounts to go along with their multiple personalities.
When I’m on my death bed, I want my final words to be ‘I left one million dollars in the…’
Boys, if you don’t look like calvin klein models, don’t expect us to look like victoria secrets angels. (From All Bachelor Girls Association) 
God made coke. God made Pepsi. God made me. Oh so sexy. God made rivers. God made lakes. God made you. Well…we all make mistakes
I’m batter than you Ex and better then your NEXT!
There are 3 types of people in the world- vegetarian, non-vegetarian and Tuesday / Saturday
I’m soo poor… I can’t even pay attention
Vegetarians, if you want animals to live, why do you eat their food.
If I look like I am arguing with myself don’t worry about it. I am trying to reason with the voices in my head. They want me to hit you.
Move on…
Sleep till you’re hungry… Eat till you’re sleepy.
When I drink alcohol… Everyone says I’m alcoholic. But… When I drink Fanta.. No one says I’m fantastic!!!
Best line said by a guy to a Girl: The day i will go on knees for another girl … is the day i will tie a shoe lace for our daughter.. 
Girls use photoshop to look beautiful.. Boys use photoshop to show their creativity.
I’am looking for a bank loan which can perform two things..give me a Loan and then leave me Alone.
Jealousy = I actually care about you.
Decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire.
Math Rule: If it seems easy, you’re doing it wrong.

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