I Wonder What Happen’s When Doctor’s Wife Eats An Apple A Day 😉
The best way to lie is to tell the truth, carefully edited truth.
Behind every successful man, there is a surprised woman…
I Don’T Always Get Asked Out On A Date. But When I Do….It’S On April 1St.
If you are going to speak bad things about me on my back, come to me. I’ll tell you more.
Ooooooo…..Don’t copy my status.
When I Call My Parents & They Don’T Answer It’S No Big Deal But When They Call Me & I Don’T Answer Its Like To World War Iii.
Cigarette chodna sabse asan h- main hazaro baar chhod_ chukka hu…!!
I like to stay in bed. It’s too ‘people-y’ outside.
Price is what you pay. Value is what you get.
Faces YOU Make ON The Toilet lol (o_o) (>_<) (0_0) (^_^)
Math : Mental Abuse To Humans
If people are talking behind your back then, just fart.
Oh! I Am Sorry. I Forgot. I Only Exist When You Need Something.
we men want the same thing from women that we want from underwear.Some support and some freedom.
C.L.A.S.S- come late and start sleeping 🙂
I Hate It When People Are At Your House & Ask ” Do You Have A Bathroom ?” No, We Pee In The Yard.
if your dog barks and enemies laugh take it serious.
People say you cant live without love, but I think oxygen is more important.
Dear Google, thank you for doing most of my homework for me. 🙂
It is a sad fact that 20% of marriages in this country end in divorce. But hey, the remaining end in death. You could be one of the lucky ones.
Who needs television when there is so much drama on Facebook.
Friday is my second favorite F word.
I’m not lazy, I’m on energy saving mode.
Most emotional moment in a boys life, When a girl says, Can you give me your number 😀
The question I have not been able to answer is “What… does a woman want?”
All the Rules are made.. to be break.
Hey there whatsapp is using meee,.
If College has taught us anything, it’s texting without looking 🙂
Totally available! Please disturb me…
I love my six pack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat 🙂
Remember If We Get Caught, You Are Deaf And I Don’T Speak English.
Me and my wife lived happily for 25 years and then we met…
The human brain is amazing. It functions 24 hours a day from the time we were born, and only stops when we take exam or are in love.
A man asks a trainer in the gym: “I want 2 impress that beautiful girl , which machine can I use?” Trainer replies: “Use the ATM”
God made everything that has life, rest everything is made in China 🙂
I’m not fat, I’m fluffy.
My heart is stolen..can I check your braa
Time Is Precious. Waste It Wisely.
How do people write an auto biography? I can barley remember what I had for lunch yesterday 🙂
Never make eye contact while eating a banana.
Dear MATH, stop asking to find your X, she’s not coming back.
I only need 3 things in life: Food, Wifi, Sleep 🙂
It’s cute when your crush’s crush is uuh 😉
Silence is the loudest words you can speak sometimes when you want to be heard more.
You don’t have to like me… I am not a facebook status.
Dream as if you’ll live forever… Live as if tomorrow is last one.
I Will Do Anything Humanly Possible To Reach The Remote Without Getting Up.
Long Time Ago I Used To Have A Life, Until Someone Told Me To Get Into Social Networking.
As Usual, There Is A Great Woman Behind Every Idiot.
If life gives you lemons, just add vodka.
Warning! I know karate… and some other words.