Try to say the letter M without your lips touching.
Did anyone else notice the sound if you click the like button on my status?
I salute all my haters with my middle finger.
Keep rolling your eyes. Maybe you’ll find a brain back there.
Sleeping Is My Drug. My Bed Is My Dealer & My Alarm Clock Is The Police.
You think I’m cute when I’m mad? Well, buckle up sweet cheeks—I’m about to get freakin’ adorable.
Eat – Sleep – Regret – Repeat.
I will marry the girl, who look pretty in her Adhaar card.
Status: I on Not on whatsapp..
I am crazy and hyper but that is 2 reasons why I am lovable.
Nobody Texts Faster Than A Pissed Off Female.
We are WTF generation …. WhatsApp, Twitter and Facebook 😀
Brain is Intelligent !Why not have Everyone…
I Don’T Need A Hair Stylist, My Pillow Gives Me A New Hairstyle Every Morning.
If you love something, let it go. If it comes back, it was meant to be. If it does not, hunt it down & kill it.
People Have Become Really Naughty On Whatsapp. Even Married Women Have Put Their Status As ” Available “.
When I was Born DEVIL said ohh shitt, competition
Everything funnier when your supposed to be quiet..
Man ask a trainer in the gym: “I want 2 impress that girl… , which machine can I use?” Trainer replies: “Use the ATM”!
AwesoME ends with ME and Ugly starts with U.  
I can only bottle so much inside, and right now, I’ve got more bottled up than a Coca-Cola factory.
If time does not wait for you, don’t worry. Just remove the battery from the clock and enjoy life.
One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry.
When a woman says WHAT? Its not because she didn’t hear you. She’s giving you a chance to change what you said.
Cell Phones These Days Keep Getting Thinner & Smarter. People The Opposite. ( Funny Quotes )
I hate when people all of a sudden decide to be funny when I am drinking something 🙂
I’m soo poor… I can’t even pay attention
When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.
I wonder what happens when doctor’s wife eats an apple a day. 🙂
The Biggest Difference Between Men And Women Is What Comes To Mind When The Word Facial Is Used.
80% of boys have girlfriends.. Rest 20% are having brain.
Girls use photoshop to look beautiful.. Boys use photoshop to show their creativity.
I’m cool but global warming made me vry hot
My Boss Told Me To Have A Good Day….So I Went Home.
There’s like 7 billion people in this world and no one wants to date me. I hate this world … huh
Always Speak The Truth No Matter How Bitter Harsh It It. But Run Immediately After Saying It.
I Like to study ‘. arithmetic, NO ‘. world history, NO ‘. chemistry, NO ‘. GIRLS, YES!!!
Q Quite Man Is A Thinking Man. A Quite Woman Is Usually Mad.
FACT: Every piece of plastic ever made still exists. Say no to Plastic.
I’M Going To Stand Outside. So If Anyone Asks, I Am Outstanding.
Money can’t buy happiness, but it pays for internet, which is pretty much the same thing.
The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.
Alcohol will give different, type of power!..
Happiness is when ‘Last seen at’ changes to ‘Online’ and then to ‘Typing…’
I’m so tired, my tired is tired.
My Room Is Not Messy, It Is An Obstacle Course Designed To Keep Me Fit.
Dear I Know We Had Problems When I Was Younger….But I Love You Now.
It may look like I’m deep in thought, but 99% of the time I’m just thinking about what food to eat later.
Whoever says “Good Morning” on Monday’s deserves to get slapped 🙂
do not drink and park _accidents cause people.

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