I don’t drink alcohol! but Feel Awesome..
If you think no one cares about you, try missing a couple car payments.
People Say Everything Happens For A Reason, So When I Punch You In The Face, Remember I Have A Reason.
When I’m on my death bed, I want my final words to be “I left one million dollars in the…
I live in a world of fantasy, so keep your reality away from me!
Read books instead of reading my status!
Flirtationship: More than a friendship and less than a relationship.
Be Warned : I’M Bored. This Could Get Dangerous.
I Changes My Password To “Incorrect” So Whenever I Forget What It Is, The Computer Will Say ” Your Password Is Incorrect “.
If Women Could Read Minds, Every Second Man Will Get Slapped.
Only fools fall in love and I guess I’m one of them 🙂
When I actually die some people_ are going to get really haunted.
Chocolates Comes From Cocoa, Which Is Tree. That Makes It A Plant….So Chocolate Is A Salad.
I just need a good Wifi & Wife.
My style is unique don’t copy it plz!
Dear Lord, all I ask for a chance to prove that winning the lottery won’t make a bad person.
It Takes Real Skill To Choke On Air, Fall Up Stairs & Trip Over Completely Nothing. I Have That Skill.
The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
A fine is a tax for doing wrong & A tax is a fine for doing well…!
Girls, if he only wants your breasts, legs, and thighs. send him to KFC.
I’m just having an allergic reaction to the universe.
My father always told me, ‘Find a job you love and you’ll never have to work a day in your life.
They say we learn from our mistakes. So, I’m making as many as possible! Soon I will be a genius :-B
Always wear cute pajamas to bed you’ll never know who you will meet in your dreams.
If I agreed with you we both were wrong.
Try to say the letter M without ur lips touching….!!
I may be fat, but u’re ugly – I can lose weight!
For you men who think a woman’s place is in the kitchen, remember thats where the knives are kept. 🙂
I’m Jealous Of My Parents… I’ll Never Have A Kid As Cool As Theirs!
Mosquitos are like family. Annoying but they carry your blood.
The police called and said one of my friends escaped from the mental hospital. Which one of you crazies got out and where should I pick you up?
All My Life I Thought Air Was Free….Untill I Bought A Bag Of Chips.
Here my dad comes on whatsapp… From now on my status would be ‘***no status***’ or just a smiley…
If a single teacher can’t teach all the subjects then how could you expect a single student to learn all subjects.
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I Am Brilliant Brunette With Lots Of Blond Moments.
No. I Am Not Single. I Am In A Long Distance Relationship Because My Future Boyfriend Lives In Future.
Wife: I have changed my mind. Husband: Does the new one now work?
Doing nothing is very hard thing to do…you never know when to finish.
I speak two languages, Body and English.
Laughing at your own texts before you send them because you are so damn funny.
Someday you’ll go far, and I hope you stay there.
Your body is allergic to some people. Know how to read the signs.
Everybody is so happy….I hate that.
Make your weird light shine bright, so the other weirdos know where to find you.
Attitude is like a underwear Don’t show it just wore it
If nobody hates U, then you are doing something boring.
I never argue, I just explain why I’m right.
Its better to fail than to cheat but its better to cheat than to repeat.
Silence is the best answer of all questions and Smile is the best reaction in all situations. Unfortunately both never help in VIVA & INTERVIEW.
You Don’T Have To Be Crazy To Hang Out With Me. I’Ll Train You.
Don’t kiss behind the garden, Love is blind but the neighbors are not.
I Wasn’T Mad. But Now That You Asked Me 7 Times If I’M Mad…Yes, I’M Mad !
light travels faster than sound…that’s why people appear bright until they speak.
When it’s you against me, you either win or you die!!!

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