I shouldn’t have to earn you time or attention, you should want to give it!
Kiss me and you will see how important I am.
Some people should have multiple Facebook accounts to go along with their multiple personalities.
You’re so lucky that I’m terrified of prison.
Etc Meaning – End of Thinking Capacity..
If College has taught us anything, it’s texting without looking 🙂
Totally available!! Please disturb me!!!!
I Love My Six Pack So Much. I Protect It With A Layer Of Fat.
It’s not how tragically we suffer but how miraculously we live.
SI unit of ignorance = “seen”
You can never buy Love… But still you have to pay for it…
Don’t take life too seriously, you won’t get out of it alive.
I was going to take over the world this morning, but I overslept.
Life Is Too Short To Be Serious All The Time. So, If You Can’T Laugh At Yourself, Call Me….I’Ll Laugh At You.
Sometimes, I Forgot How To Spell A Word So I Change The Whole Sentence To Avoid Using It.
I always give 100% at work: 13% Monday, 22% Tuesday, 26% Wednesday, 35% Thursday, 4% Friday 🙂
Newton’s law of love: Love can neither be created nor be destroyed. Only it can transfer from one girlfriend to another with some loss of money.
Be Strong I Whispered To My Wifi Signal.
I Can’T Taste My Lips. Could You Do It For Me ?
If U are still hate me!then No Problem!..
One wise guy invented mobile application Whatsapp and his wife added last seen feature…
When Guys Get Jealous, Its Actually Kind A Cute. When Girls Get Jealous World War Iii Is A About To Start.
Checking your symptoms on Google and accepting that fact that you’re going to die.
I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.
Love is 1 drink and 2 straws. Marriage is “Don’t you think you’ve had enough!”.
At last got to know how to loose weight in 10 days: Just turn your head right then left and repeat whenever offered any food 🙂
If life gives you questions, Google gives you answers.
Nothing moves faster than a girl untagging herself from an ugly picture 🙂
We live in a society were pizza gets to your house before police
BRB = I don’t want to talk to you. LOL = I have nothing else to say. Cool = I don’t care.
I don’t think my iPhone is working. I pressed the home button, but I’m still here.
If You Tickle Me, I’M Not Responsible For Your Injuries. ( Funny Quotes )
People say everything happens for a reason. So when I punch you in the face, remember I have a reason. 😉
When I’m good, I’m very good and when I’m bad, I’m sensational!
I Won’T Be Impressed With Technology Until I Can Download Food.
That Moment When You Miss One Step On The Stairs & You Think You’Re About To Die.
For all the girls that say ….. All guys are the same …… Who told you to try them ALL.
I’M Great In Bed. I Can Sleep For Days.
Mosquitoes are like family. Annoying but they carry your blood.
The only time success comes before work is in dictionary.
All my life I thought air is free until I bought a bag of chips.
Having a best friend with the same mental disorder is a blessing. LOL
I’ve been diagnosed with “awesomeness.” You might want to get checked, but I doubt you caught it.
People who exercise live longer, but what’s the point when those extra years are spent at gym.
Excuse me …. Plesae empty your pockets …. I think you stole my heart.
Marriage is the cause of divorce.!
The first five days after the weekend are always the toughest.
A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house.
God is really creative, I mean.. just look at me every time!
I’m naturally funny because my whole life is a joke.
My father always told me, find a job you love and you’ll never have to work a day in your life.
Think about it ..every time we look back at ourselves five years ago we think we were an idiot.