Funny WhatsApp Status | Funny FaceBook Status

“I’m going to bed” really means…” I’m going to lie in my bed and go on my phone.”
Friends are forever, until they get in a relationship!! 😛
I’M Super Lazy Today !! Which Is Like Normal Lazy, But I’M Also Wearing A Cape.
Move on…
The Word ” Studying ” Was Made Up Of Two Words Originally ” Students Dying “.
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.
Hey, I’ll be back in 5 minutes but if I’m not just read this message again.
In bed, it’s 6AM you close your eyes for 5 minutes, it’s 7:45. At school it’s 1:30, close your eyes for 5 minutes, it’s 1:31
when nothing seems right then go left…
I would call my fashion style “clothes that still fit.”
Restaurant Advertisement: We serve food as HOT as your neighbour’s wife; And beer as COLD as your own. 🙂
Women May Not Hit Harder. But They Hit Lower.
Don’t be too optimistic. The light at the end of the tunnel may be another train.
I used to like my neighbors, until they put a password on their Wi-Fi 🙂
Life Is Full Of Questions. Idiots Are Full Of Answers.
Sometimes I Wish I Was A Bird….So I Could Fly Over Certain People & Poop On Their Heads.
Your WhatsApp status says “online.” If you’re online, why aren’t you texting me?
I live in a world of fantasy, so keep ur reality away from me!
Quit your job, buy a ticket, get a train, fall in love and never return.
Fact: Ph on silent mode- 10 Missed call..Turns volume to loud- Nobody calls all day!
Decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire.
I only need three things in life: Food, Wifi, Sleep
Its Really Funny And Hilarious When Wife Thinks Shes Punishing Her Husband By Not Talking To Him For Days.
Single doesn’t always mean available…
You seem to be on your own path. Unfortunately, there’s a “socio” in front of it.
Drunk people run on Red Light…, Normal people wait for them to turn green.!
I will kill you with my awesomeness…
My study period = 15 minutes. My break time = 3 hours.
Dear Karma, I Have A List Of People You Missed.
It may look like I’m deep in thought, but 99% of the time I’m just thinking about what food to eat later.
WARNING!! I know karate …..and some other words!!!
Boys will be boys as long as there are no girls in the picture.
I Don’T Have A Bucket List But My Fucket List Is A Mile Long.
If you can’t convince them, confuse them.
People are like music some say the truth and rest, just noise.
When I Text You A Massive Paragraph And You Reply 40 Minutes Late With ” K “….Are You Asking To Be Punched ?
Congratulations!!My tallest finger want to give you a standing ovation.
If Each Day Is A Gift, I Would Like To Know Where I Can Return Mondays.
Touch it gently, put two fingers inside, if it’s wide use three fingers, make sure it’s wet and rub up and down. Yep that’s how you wash a cup.
I love that our effortless friendship fits perfectly with my laziness.
I am not perfect, but I am limited edition.
If school has taught us anything, it’s texting without looking 
One day your prince will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost and is too stubborn to ask for directions 🙂
When a bird hits your window have you ever wondered if God is playing angry birds with you?
Can’t talk, telepathy only!
I hate when I am about to hug someone really sexy and my face hits the mirror.
I’m not lazy, I’m on energy saving mode.
Sorry about those texts I sent you last night, my phone was drunk.
I always learn from mistake of others who take my advice 🙂
No I didn’t trip …The floor looked like …it needed a hug!.
70% boy Have GF ,other then Have Brain!

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